Im very sad at the moment....

My son has Autism...somebody stole my autism awareness magnet...im used to this as this will be my third one to go on my car, This although frustrating as hell...isnt why im sad.
You see...on the website that i order my magnets from is a video....symptoms of autism. i decided JUST to watch it, i dunno why, i dont have reason to. I KNOW my son has it. but i watched....and with tears welling up in my eyes...i realize i now know what i always thought was wrong. I thought he developed fine...up until speech didnt come. I know thats wrong now.....yes...he walked ontime.....sat up on time...thats it. he wasnt cooing at six months of age...NEVER responded to his name.....pointed....CHRIST he NEVER EVEN HINTED TO BE PICKED UP till WELL after he was 2!!!! all these things was to be done before a year.....
Now...i see my little girl...and yes there was somthing wrong with my handsome little man when he was just a baby....and his mama didnt know.
why....
why....Because until we are affected by something we dont take the time to learn anything about it.
Why do ppl think its funny to steal something thats probably meaningless to them....but oh my god, its just a magnet...but FOR ME.....displaying that magnet on my car makes me feel danmed good...and it feels SO WRONG not to have it there.
It makes me feel ok....and i dont know why...because i dont need a magnet to be proud MAMA of brilliance.
Rambling.....ramblings of a frustrated mama....frustrated by the lack of education, and sensless pranks...they dont know what their taking.

Sleeping is seeming to be outa the question tonight....So very wide awake! Man i'm going to regret this in the morning....as my tiny wee one is going to be up at six for a feeding, and my adorable chaotic one will be harassing my ass at eight-ish.
I'm slightly nervous about this blog as im not an experienced blogger...im not even a blogger...haha ive really just started and DAMN it feels good to get my feeling out even if it is just in cyber world. Calming..Maybe i'll sleep after this??
Why im not sleeping....my brain is just not hushing up tonight....could it be the hemp hearts i ate at 4?....the herb lady DID say not to eat them with my dinner...is 4 considered a DINNER hour?? so its either that...OR...my cousin...(inlaw?) whos been staying with us for the last 2 months..AND...most certainly a new BFF, goes home very soon..I HATE goodbyes.

OR...the fact that i DO NOT KNOW whats a normal lump or an abnormal lump.